MissSofiaMoon

darkness

2008-11-09T11:45:58+01:00

Anyway, there is no more.
just occassionally.
this has become pointless and silly.
I have no interest in playing games;
either speak to me or not,
simple.
I am losing all interest. time is almost up.

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Natetina

2008-11-06T14:34:35+01:00

The Judgement

Moongirl passes judgement upon the soul of Natetina, the vampira:
"You are no longer invited," She says.
"Then, that is death," replies Natetina.
"Yes."
"You are merciful. To a vampire death, at last, comes as a relief."
"Yes. But then, Natetina, although I have no love for thy kin...
yet, I did always love you.
Whilst you lie sleeping your eternal sleep,
even unto forever,
I shall live,
and mourn thy absence."

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Allo

2008-11-05T14:00:04+01:00

It's nice that you are here, how clever you are!!
Gosh, I do miss you though. But then, lately, even my reflection has been avoiding me...

wherefore art thou, my beautiful, dark twin?

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Moon Goddess

2008-11-05T13:54:26+01:00

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white pussy

2008-11-05T13:52:45+01:00

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goddess

2008-09-18T22:11:35+02:00

life is, i think, (but what do i know?) about learning to be who we are. who we were born to be. not what we did become... were molded into by environment and society pressure.
sounds simple enough. but is it?
what are we, really? flesh, blood, atoms spinning in perpetual motion, within the awesomely endless universes?
brain or soul? how can we be sure?
death, or life? nothing is certain in this vale of despair and delight.
but we are here, aren't we?
you are as real and vibrant as I. we are equally significant and irrelevant; specks on the earth's surface, tiny... but within us all a centre that commands the attention of all the gods.
if the Goddess should turn her lovely eye upon us and regard us, miniscule though we are in comparison to everything, then we do count for something more than a temporal movement. if we are Her children, then She loves and cherishes us, and tries, like any good parent, to protect, guide, and help us. to where? where does She lead us? to what purpose and end? why would She care for us?
is there something we are missing?
perhaps something obvious we have overlooked?

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the way

2008-09-11T18:57:21+02:00

it isn't how many steps you take on your pilgrimage-
it is that you keep walkng beside Her.

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the luscious Ziyi

2008-09-11T14:29:46+02:00

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Zhang Ziyi

2008-09-11T12:04:08+02:00

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lao tzu

2008-09-09T22:58:03+02:00

knowing the world and its ways
can lead to well-being.
knowing the ways of one's ego
can lead to wisdom.

the route to mastery of others
may demand the power of arms
and lead to bondage and extreme prejudice.

the route to mastery of one's self
demands the power of truth
and leads to freedom.

being able to see joy in every little thing
is to be truly rich.
being able to stay centred amidst any distraction
is to be truly empowered.

to know intuition is to realise pure energy.
to know pure energy,
is to realise one's power.

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Ziyi

2008-09-08T22:29:11+02:00

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don't frown

2008-09-08T13:15:37+02:00

when I was pulling faces my mummy used to tell me:
"when the wind changes, you'll face'll stick, and you'll look that way forever!"
it's funny the stuff you actually believe when you're a kid. teehee.
but a grain of truth, even in a silly saying like that.
thankfully I didn't pull too many faces, and so don't have too many wrinkles now. there's still time, of course.

a middle-aged lady was visiting my workplace last week.
she was attractive, in a handsome, rather than a pretty way. as we chatted about the business at hand, she was relaxed and smiling. she was happy, and her face glowed.

this may sound strange, but it was perfectly appropiate at the time: I told her she had a beautiful face. at that moment, whilst we were chatting, and she was relaxed and open, her face did look beautiful. it looked strong and feminine. she gave me the impression of having endured much whilst managing to retain her essential self. it was a rather classical beauty.

she was shocked- a tear sprang to her eye.
"that's the first time in my life that anyone has told me I am beautiful," she confided. that seemed so sad. she showed me the face 'she wore' at home; it was a bit stern and grumpy, and her natural beauty was masked.

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return the compliment

2008-09-07T21:34:24+02:00

regardless of age, sex, colour, orientation etc etc
if someone is nice to you
be nice back.
that's a fair exchange.

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the black cat

2008-09-07T21:06:13+02:00

I could, but it wouldn't be easy.
time and distance...
these things are easier face to face.
but then, you might not be able.
however, she wants me to
so here I am.
it will happen naturally
in its own good time.
you know she has always been there,
and you know the depth of her love and care.
call her
into your heart and soul.
listen to her
when she whispers.
yes,
it really is easy.
but only if you surrender utterly,
and few can achieve that.
mistreat her at your own peril.

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in a way...

2008-09-07T16:59:04+02:00

words are ambivulent, aren't they?
their meanings can be adaptable, flexible.
we accept words without much thought or attention. we use words regularly with only a very basic understanding of what they mean.
words are potent, and chosen carefully can transport and transform us. a word at the right time can be the difference between happiness or despair. and equally, of a word at the wrong time.
one thing with spoken words is that once they have been uttered, they cannot then be taken back.

imagine if "the news at ten" were instead to be titled
"political propoganda, crime and murder, other bad news, celebrity gossip, and sport... at ten". would we still watch it?
would that title change our opinion of what was broadcast? I'm sure it would.
and, having mentioned celebrities... ugrh. I can't stand them;
maybe if we changed that word to a more descriptive and accurate one, such as- "ego-maniacs".
try substituting ego-maniacs for celebrity in common phrases...
like; "britney, the famous ego-maniac, was out shopping today, and was captured by the press..."
or; "b-list ego-maniacs".
etc

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easy? I wish.

2008-09-07T00:32:32+02:00

we all slag men off, and if we're honest, they do deserve it! we are so used to the negatives, there is little point in going over them again. not today, anyway.

I like it when they are gentlemanly; opening doors for me, taking my coat, being polite and attentive. sometimes they surprize you by doing or saying something really sweet and thoughtful.

it's wonderful that they have the instinct to protect and care for us. women nuture, yes, but men protect.
we have all heard the phrase "women and children first"... isn't that incredible? no way we would return the compliment, not en masse... and we know that it is much more than just a phrase. men have sacrificed a lot for us.
we are the warm hearth that they dream of and long for.

the more I think of it, the more I feel that the differences between us are not so important; not so vast as to be an unbridgable chasm. aren't we more similar than at odds? we are both flesh and blood.
so I s'pose it just comes down to hormones?

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pink dress

2008-09-05T13:44:56+02:00

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mreow

2008-09-05T13:42:01+02:00

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black cat

2008-09-05T13:40:43+02:00

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mummy's advice to me #7

2008-09-01T21:09:56+02:00

7."don't sell yourself cheaply; and always be respectful afterwards."

6."always follow your own way. take what you can; what you need, and use it well. always try your best; that will be enough. try to remember that your soul and your destiny belong to you alone."

5."don't jump to conclusions. by definition, you will probably be wrong."

4."getting people to like you is easy. just agree with them."

3."if you like someone, it is because of an instinctive pull towards them. your souls have resonated, and that is why you feel the need to draw closer. be confident that they have also felt it; they like you too."

2."it's not so complicated, darling, as you're making it out to be."

1."don't be friends with fat girls. that kind of persistant negativity is unhealthy for you to be around."

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connections

2008-09-01T20:01:30+02:00

golly gee... I've just had what is my idea of the day from hell. guess it comes with the new job. ugh. I hate traveling at the best of times...
I caught my first connection this morning at 9am. at 1pm I had an hour interview/meeting. I arrived home at about six o'clock. when I wasn't en route either way, I was standing about waiting for my connections.
I haven't eaten since 11am, and I'm starving! My feet were really hurting. due to delays, I had half an hour to wait for my last, fivepm, connection home. I wasn't happy. I didn't feel that the day's work had gone particually well. I was tired.
...then some chap started chatting me up. what should I do in those situations? some of my gfs would have just told him to get lost without a second thought; well, perhaps unless they really thought he was hot! under those circumstances, the way I felt, there was no way anyone was going to seem attractive to me. not unless they looked exactly like my front door.
if he had been in any way rude, or just irritating in some way, I could and would have done my utmost to ignore him.
I don't think girls often consider the devestation that they can cause... mens' egos tend to be fragile as it is. (no offence intended!!)I can't be deliberately rude without genuine provocation, so I always start off polite, and see how it goes.

this man today started off (I think... ) by saying/asking that I probably thought he was about seventy? I replied that I hadn't actually thought about it. he told me he was fifty-five. way too old for you? he laughed, half in hope, I think, that I'd say I loved older men. which I don't, particually. there were two or three longish hairs growing out of the front of his nose. I almost reached without thinking for my tweezers.
he actually asked me out... this evening, for a drink.
I politely declined!
the thing is though, he was actually quite sweet. he was ok-looking; he didn't seem ancient! I quite liked him, and accepted his compliments, with grace, hopefully.
it may have been that I was grateful for someone to chat with, coz of the hideous day I had had; and was still in the throes of. I was tired, so my resistance to conversations with strange men was low. we had a little chat whilst we were waiting for the train, and he managed to cheer me up a bit.
when I got off at my stop, I glanced back to say goodbye, and I caught his eye. he blew me a kiss. I smiled and waved.
I wasn't interested in anyway romantically from the moment I met him untill now... but he made me smile, and that really did make a difference to my day.

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death

2008-08-31T20:19:01+02:00

Death is a part of life. It is the natural conclusion of life. It is the destination towards which each of us is traveling.
It's a difficult and painful concept for us to grasp. No-one that is healthy and reasonably happy wishes to die sooner than they are destined to. Even those who are chronically depressed manage to remain living. Not all; some succumb to the pain. But most, even if they fantasize about death, and feel that they would rather be dead than to continue to endure the torment of life... somehow they don't take their own lives. The instinct to survive, no matter what the cost, is the first, and most powerful, of all instincts.

I became obsessed by death when I first starting getting depressed, at about seven to nine years old. I attempted to kill myself several times. Being so young, I didn't have much means at my disposal, so inevitably my attempts failed. I never told anybody about it. I kept trying untill one day I stepped out in front of a car, hoping it would hit me and kill me, forcing the driver into an emergency stop. He got out of his car and started shouting at me and threatening me. I guess I gave him quite a scare. In return he had scared me with his reaction. So much so that I gave up on trying to kill myself, untill, I thought, I was old enough to do it properly.

"depression," my mummy said, "is something that we do to ourselves." That phrase stuck in my head, and took all the fun out of being depressed. It was then that I began to recover.
Today I am about eighty per cent not depressed, and never go so low and deep as to wish my life would end.
It was an interesting journey, and I learnt a lot from it about life, death, and destiny.

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ta de da tum

2008-08-31T19:29:22+02:00

There is a very beautiful novel by the writer Lisa See, titled "snowflower and the secret fan". It is a story about chinese women, two girls in particular, who become what the chinese refer to as "old-sames". Old-sames means that the souls of the two people are twinned. They are bound; across time, distance, and all barriers.
The story centres around the 'secret fan' of the title. Untill last century chinese women were commonly illiterate. The gorgeous galligrathic characters that we are familiar with in the west, were drawn only by the men. Women were forbidden to learn the thousand characters.
Being women, they invented their own secret language. Men were not only excluded from it, but they had no idea of its existance untill very recently.
It is beautifully simple and elegant. The chinese women wrote in secret, on items such as a fan, and passed messages back and forth in this manner. Even if these gifts were discovered, a man would not recognise the patterns as writing, and certainly would not be able to read them. In a land where they were considered worthless, and fit only to marry out of the household, this writing was a vital lifeline for the women to express their real thoughts and emotions.

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write

2008-08-31T14:07:31+02:00

If one aspires to be published, then it would be incongruent with that aim, if one objected to whom was reading what one had written.

writers cannot afford to be fussy. no artist can pick their audience. therefore, we must bear in mind the variety of those who may read what we write, and dismiss that knowledge as irrelevant. and write what inspiration and intuition motivates us to, regardless.

how could we aim to please an audience? that would be impossible, since we do not intimately know them, nor understand fully what they like or need.
so it is correct that we should write to please ourselves, and our divine mistress. those who enjoy will continue to read, those who don't enjoy, won't. that seems fair.

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new moon

2008-08-31T13:41:13+02:00

the new moon begins to turn in the nefarious skies. a pretty sliver of silver; the goddess stirs from slumbering dreams.
...how would you feel, I asked... in my place? does it surprise you that I feel love for you?

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crescent

2008-08-26T18:29:09+02:00

the moon has almost waned;
that means our time is up.
it has been mildly interesting,
but now I have other universes to nurture.
friends, my mummy said, are like rare jewells
within a beach of pebbles... ;
my haul was rather bountiful.
be beautiful,
in every way.
you should know where
to find me.

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words that don't make sense

2008-08-26T15:27:16+02:00

before I write the main point of this post,
I must make something clear;
don't imagine that everything I say refers directly to you. it doesn't.
if you persist in thinking that way,
then some of what I have to say now
and in the future will upset you.
it could make the difference between us remaining friends, or not. for some,
it will be the difference.

after all this time?
after everything I have been through,
whilst you were distant and closed?
you expect me to play that game with you?
you have misunderstood.
I meant what I said.
you have had your chances.
I begged you to speak with me,
but you were silent and smug.
I wept,
scarlet tears of blood;
for so very deeply I did love you.
you were blind, and blinded.
if you still do not know,
then it is you that are lost and damned.
can you not see
that beauty begins and ends
with me?

do not make any demands upon me.
show me your regret,
or, when the world has turned,
it will break you.
some things are beyond my control.
I would weep for you,
despite the hardening of my heart towards you;
but I could not help you.
the way is larger than all of us;
the fates roll the die.

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back to work

2008-08-26T12:51:30+02:00

the biggest obstacle to happiness is the thoughts within our own minds.
desires, dreams, opinions, emotive reactions...
stress is something we all have to deal with.
it's nice to relax, and turn off those whirling dervishes of our minds. it's a relief to close our eyes, and sink into a blissful peace.
I started my new job yesterday, even though it was a bank holiday. no-one else was in. just me.
it was nice to be able to tidy up, straighten things out, start getting organised, without the multitude messing it all up again.
today, of course, they are back, and all my pretty arrangements will become mussed and wonkied. a womans' work is never done!

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rose

2008-08-26T02:19:11+02:00

shall I draw you in from the shadows?
it is cold; and you are trembling.
I would;
but are you ready
to leave that darkness behind you?
I danced,
whilst you lay sleeping,
and sprent my fairydusts * * * * * * * * * * *;
and those black dragons,
that winged amok
within your mind,
are now truly dead.
the dead cannot hurt us;
not unless we embrace their crumbling corpses,
or kiss their brittle lips.
I will not lie;
you are alone,
and ever shall be.
yet; so are we all,
and we can huddle together,
and thereby find the warmth.
with you here,
my dear,
it is better.

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false modesty

2008-08-25T21:17:15+02:00

If the gods have been benevolent enough to bless us with a gift, or gifts, then we must do our best to make use of it/them. Not to make the most of our potential is an insult to Them. Although at times it seems very difficult to discover where our strengths may lay, and what it is that we are suppossed to be doing with our time on this planet, we must hope that the answers are there if we look with sincerity.

If God has chosen to bless me with beauty, intelligence, and artistic creativity, then I won't apologise for that.

It's about priorities. Either we answer to social and environment pressures, and conform to the mainstream mediocrity, denying our true selves, and neglecting our divine gifts, or we have the courage to stand apart and be who the gods intended us to be. Shall we embrace our destiny, or deny it in order to fit in with the ignorant multitude?

Deliberately or subconciously we all make those choices. We live for God, or for our ego. There is a point that is reached where there is no inbetween, no turning back.

The reason it annoys those people is because, having made their choice, they don't want anyone else to choose differently. That could expose their selfish egotism. There is just a chance that they made the wrong choice, and they would hate to be exposed. They need to be right; and they will shout down anyone who even brings the issue up.

Because if they had made the wrong choice, taken the wrong turning on life's road, thrown their lot in with the losing team... what then? Where would that leave them?

I am being deliberately provocative. Just sifting out the chaff from the wheat, so to speak.

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